Would You Like Cries With That?

In the midst of all the dreadfully serious stories that made their way to the news last week, a little story about a restaurant that’s a 30 minute drive from my hometown on Cape Breton Island was making some waves of its own.

The management of an upscale seafood restaurant in North Sydney – The Lobster Pound - made a post on the Facebook page for the establishment that read:

“Effective as of now, we will no longer allow small screaming children. We are an adult themed restaurant that caters to those who enjoy food and who are out to enjoy themselves. We understand that this may upset some, but after careful consideration, we believe it’s best for those who enjoy, appreciate and understand our business.”

To say that it “upset some” would be the understatement of the year. Social media was on fire with people posting about this restaurant’s unmitigated gall and how they surely were violating some sort of basic human right. People couldn’t believe that a restaurant would commit “professional suicide” like this and alienate what many people presumed is a large section of the restaurant’s clientele. The outrage rose to a fever pitch when someone broke out the “but what if these children have special needs?” card, ignoring the fact that these children may just be unpleasant and quasi-feral little beasts.

Within hours, the restaurant owner took to social media and apologized for the remark – assuring that he was very sorry for his comments, and  that children would continue to be welcome in his establishment. As a parent of two boys, ages seven and three, I’m incredibly disappointed.

I’m not disappointed with the restaurant owner for saying that screaming children were no longer welcome at his adult-oriented establishment; quite the contrary, actually. I believe he was taking a stand for the best interests of his most loyal patrons who like to enjoy a relaxed, sit-down meal without having someone’s beautiful and unique snowflake doing their best impersonation of Damien from The Omen at the table next to them.

It’s just one more example of how everyone is offended by everything, but the moment someone speaks up about the loutish behavior of one of these chronically offended folks (or their kids), look out. There are far too many people in our society who mistakenly believe the world revolves around them, and when something doesn’t go their way it’s an instant crisis that demands immediate attention.

A perfect example; my wife and I get out together without our kids about as often as Haley’s Comet passes by. When we’re out, we would like to enjoy a quiet adult meal that we can eat with both hands and have time to chew, while actually giving each other our undivided attention and talking about (or trying to talk about) subjects that don’t involve our two boys.  That is, apparently, too much to ask for some people, though, because they would assert that an upscale restaurant is a perfectly normal place take your temperamental 4 year old when he or she feels like having a 45 minute screaming fit. How dare we infringe on someone’s right to infringe on our evening out? How inconsiderate of us to want a little bit of peace and quiet and a short break from our normal responsibilities!

It’s not just restaurants either. I can count multiple times where I have gone to the movies and had someone bring a newborn in to sit in a carrier next to them. It’s almost acceptable if you’re seeing Finding Nemo, but it was a little distracting to have a baby cry through the second half of Django Unchained. I also sat through a live theatre production once with a five year old turned backwards on his chair and staring in my face the entire time while blowing spit bubbles. How charming.

Kids can be awful. You know it and I know it. There is nothing I enjoy more and that I find more rewarding than being a Dad – but sometimes my kids need an exorcism. My wife and I have been brave enough to take them out to places outside of the normal fast food fare,  like Boston Pizza and Montana’s, and we’ve tried to teach them basic table manners and how important it is to be courteous to fellow diners.  We have received compliments on how well behaved and polite they are, but that didn’t stop my three year old from asking a neighboring table if he could have their dessert if they didn’t eat it or my seven year old from lifting his shirt up to his neck at the table to show us a mosquito bite on his nipple.

We all love our kids. The fact of the matter is that not everyone else does. We should have the common sense as adults to realize that there are some places we just shouldn’t take our children, and we shouldn’t guilt trip anyone who reminds us of that fact. Most toddlers don’t belong at a fine dining establishment any more than a 40 year old man belongs at a sweet 16 birthday party.

We, as parents, have made a conscious decision to allow our lives to revolve around these little people, but that doesn’t give us the right to force that on anyone else. We spend so much time teaching our children common courtesy that we sometimes completely forget our own.